If you or someone you know has experienced sexual violence, dating violence, or stalking, there are immediate actions you can take to find support.

Dating Abuse

Relationship violence and abuse does not just happen in marriages. Unhealthy characteristics can arise in dating, casual or first relationships, as well as long-term and committed relationships.

What is dating Abuse?

Dating abuse is a pattern of behavior used to control, coerce, intimidate, threaten, manipulate, and/or exert power over a current or past partner. Domestic violence may be physical, emotional, sexual, and economic.

How do I know if I am in an unhealthy relationship?

Are you going out with someone who...

  • gets too serious about the relationship too fast?
  • is jealous and possessive?
  • won't let you have friends?
  • discourages you from spending time with friends or family?
  • won't accept you breaking up with him/her?
  • tries to control you by giving orders, making all the decisions, or not taking your opinions seriously?
  • puts you down in front of friends, or tells you that you would be nothing without him/her?
  • makes your family and friends uneasy and concerned for your safety?
  • scares you?
  • threatens you?
  • has a history of fighting, or loses his/her temper quickly?
  • grabs, pushes, shoves, or hits you?
  • accuses you of cheating or being flirtatious without reason?
  • pressures you for sex or is forceful or scary about sex?
  • blames his/her behavior on you, other people, alcohol, or drugs?
  • Do you…

  • feel less confident about yourself?
  • blame yourself for your boyfriend/girlfriend’s behavior?
  • make excuses for him/her?
  • hide the truth from others about how s/he is treating you?
  • fear what would happen if you tried to end the relationship?
  • worry about verbal or physical attacks?
  • Quiz adapted from In Love and In Danger: A Teen’s Guide to Breaking Free of Abusive Relationships (1998) by Barry Levy.

    What can I do if I am in an unhealthy relationship?

    If you think you may be in an abusive relationship, it's not your fault. You can get support. You can get help.

  • Talk to the Assistant Director of Victim Advocacy & Violence Prevention, Alison McCarthy, at 303.458.4029 or amccarthy001@regis.edu
  • Set up an appointment at the Office of Counseling and Personal Development to meet with a professional to discuss your situation.
  • Reach out to a trusted staff or faculty member. They can help you if you would like to make a report, but remember that some staff and faculty may be required to report information you share with them. Learn more about confidential resources on campus and those faculty or staff members who are required to report instances of dating violence.
  • Call Safehouse Denver’s 24 hour information and crisis line 303.318.9989 for additional information or to speak to someone off-campus.
  • Stalking

    What is stalking?

    While legal definitions of stalking vary from one jurisdiction to another, a good working definition of stalking is a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear. Stalking is serious, often violent, and can escalate over time.

    What are some red flags for stalking?

    Stalkers may:

  • Follow you and show up wherever you are.
  • Send unwanted gifts, letters, cards, or e-mails.
  • Damage your home, car, or other property.
  • Monitor your phone calls or computer use.
  • Use technology, like hidden cameras or global positioning systems (GPS), to track where you go.
  • Drive by or hang out at your home, school, or work.
  • Threaten to hurt you, your family, friends, or pets.
  • Find out about you by using public records or online search services, hiring investigators, going through your garbage, or contacting friends, family, neighbors, or co-workers.
  • Post information or spreading rumors about you on the Internet, in a public place, or by word of mouth.
  • Do other actions that control, track, or frighten you.
  • What can I do if someone is making me feel unsafe, is following me, or is harassing me?
    1. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you are on campus, you can also call campus safety at 303.458.4122

    2. Trust your instincts. Don't downplay the danger. If you feel you are unsafe, you probably are. Take threats seriously.

    3. Tell family, friends, roommates, and co-workers about the stalking and seek their support. Don't communicate with the stalker or respond to attempts to contact you.

    4. Develop a safety plan, including things like changing your routine, arranging a place to stay, and having a friend or relative go places with you. Also, decide in advance what to do if the stalker shows up at your home, work, school, or somewhere else. Tell people how they can help you.

    5. Keep evidence of the stalking. When the stalker follows you or contacts you, write down the time, date, and place. Keep emails, text messages, phone messages, letters, or notes. Photograph any possessions the stalker damages and any injuries the stalker causes. Ask witnesses to write down what they saw.

    6. Contact a the Safehouse Denver 24-hour information and crisis line 303.318.9989. They can help you devise a safety plan, give you information about local laws, weigh options such as seeking a protection order, and refer you to other services

    7. Contact the police. Every state has stalking laws. The stalker may also have broken other laws by doing things like assaulting you or stealing or destroying your property. Consider getting a court order that tells the stalker to stay away from you.

    8. Contact Campus Safety; they can provide you with interim measures. You can request escorts to and from class as well as other support services. If you are not in immediate danger but would like support, you can also reach out to:

    • Assistant Director of Victim Advocacy & Violence Prevention, Alison McCarthy, 303.458.4029 or amccarthy001@regis.edu (Alison is confidential)
    • Office of Counseling and Personal Development at 303.458.3507
    • University Ministry at 303.458.4153